A Stream of Thought

23/12/2016

On a day well spent in the comfort of her own home she ponders her current situation. Following the unprecedented chain of events which occurred that past week, and despite having spent sleepless nights putting together the pieces of her then scattered self, she still saw it necessary to spend a few more hours over-analyzing what she’d come up with, which isn’t anything out of the ordinary, really. As her mind wandered off, she felt the world spin and her limbs go numb; that was a first. After much panic and confusion, she concluded that this was exactly where she was meant to be, and that no other situation could have gone better. Nonetheless, she was never fully convinced. For some reason it felt as though something could be altered in her favor, unbeknownst to her that everything already was.

21/2/2017

A smile forms on her face as she reads through her own words. Funny how her gut always seems to be right. The thing is, it all was in her favor, right from the start. Those feelings of doubt and confusion were nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, she even speculated that they were her mind’s own defense mechanism against the destructive consequences of hopefulness, which in a sense compelled her to embrace this particular aspect of her personality. Looking back at what had been going on, she can’t help but be thankful both to the fact that it’s over and that it happened in the first place. It was an opportunity for her to raise a few serious questions about who she was and what she wanted. And although she could not come up with conclusive answers to those questions, she did get a glimpse of them, as if someone blew some steam onto a glass window and scribbled them in lousy handwriting. Things sort of become a bit clearer every day, and in the middle of it all she keeps in mind that she’s got herself to trust, no matter how cluttered she may be.

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