Into the Nothing

I realise I’ve been away for seven months or so; last time I posted here it was about something in my life that had come to an end, as most things eventually do, and now I’m here to write about a chapter that I’ve finished just a few days ago, and that is high school.

I’m not quite sure whether I’m supposed to feel liberated, or afraid, or old, or all of the above, but what I do know is that for some reason I feel nothing at all. In fact, I do look forward to the college experience, to meeting new people and learning the things with which I’ll later make my living, and I am afraid, so very afraid that somehow thing would take the wrong turn and I’ll end up with nothing of what I’d planned for. And I do feel old, old enough to enroll myself into college and pay for the things I need. But everything I feel seems like it’s not even there, and I don’t know whether to feel terrified or relieved about it. I’ve never had to make such a huge transition before; maybe that’s why my vision is still clouded. I’m a notoriously anxious person, so it might all be my mind’s natural reaction to the situation, and it might not. I don’t plan on giving it that much thought, although I can’t promise myself that’s going to happen as planned. For the time being I’m going to invest my energy in less thought-provoking things and mentally prepare myself for what’s coming. Giving more time to my blog is also on the list because it does calm my nerves.

Until next time, focus on maintaining a healthy mind, set your priorities straight, give yourself a break, and keep blogging.


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