Jumping Out the Window Of Opportunity

If you’ve been following my blog for long enough, say, since last summer, you would’ve noticed I’m one of those people who are ambivalent about summertime.

I dread winter; the dim atmosphere and the cloudy sky depress me. The rain makes me want to lock myself up in my room and never come out, and the cold weather has me wishing I were buried close to the Earth’s crust where it’s nice and cozy, which is makes me crave sunshine, warmth, and clarity. Summer weather puts my mind at ease, but summer life troubles it. For someone like myself, and by myself I mean an introverted teenager who does not enjoy prolonged interaction and tries to avoid situations where she is at risk of drawing the slightest bit of attention, summer is boring. That’s basically because I don’t know what to do. I can never manage to properly execute my previously arranged plans, so I often end up not making plans anymore, hence the boring reality of my summer life.

I like to keep myself busy, but sometimes  run out of things to do or need something new. I’ve always pictured myself handling a summer job, but that seemed out of question for me earlier since my age did not exactly allow me to be employed in the places I wanted a job at. This year, however, I am legal. I can apply for jobs and keep myself occupied. During the last few weeks of school I’d started thinking of places I could work at and made a mental list. A lot of places have been eliminated since for reasons I will not explicit here, but one of the remaining, and by far my most desired, has a vacancy and needs employees. Going through the job description and the requirements, I mentally checked the ones that matched my description. Towards the end it came to me that I was a great candidate for the job. Normally I was thrilled; I wanted to send in my application right away. I told my brother about it and he encouraged the thought. I have yet to inform my parents about it, but I’m sure they won’t mind either.

Oh and, in case you were wondering, the job I’m applying for is at a bookstore; heaven on earth. Ever since I first visited a bookstore I’ve fantasized about working at one. Being surrounded by all those beautiful books; arranging them and making sure they’re properly placed and well taken care of… aaah a dream come true.

For the time being I won’t get my hopes up that high. I mean, I am good enough for the job, but there might be others who’re more suitable for it, and I don’t want to get too disappointed if I don’t get it; I’m sure I’ll get plenty of opportunities later. All I can do now is wait and hope for the best.

Until then, never give upon what you want, take the opportunity when it presents itself, work hard, be patient, and keep blogging!

Into the Nothing

I realise I’ve been away for seven months or so; last time I posted here it was about something in my life that had come to an end, as most things eventually do, and now I’m here to write about a chapter that I’ve finished just a few days ago, and that is high school.

I’m not quite sure whether I’m supposed to feel liberated, or afraid, or old, or all of the above, but what I do know is that for some reason I feel nothing at all. In fact, I do look forward to the college experience, to meeting new people and learning the things with which I’ll later make my living, and I am afraid, so very afraid that somehow thing would take the wrong turn and I’ll end up with nothing of what I’d planned for. And I do feel old, old enough to enroll myself into college and pay for the things I need. But everything I feel seems like it’s not even there, and I don’t know whether to feel terrified or relieved about it. I’ve never had to make such a huge transition before; maybe that’s why my vision is still clouded. I’m a notoriously anxious person, so it might all be my mind’s natural reaction to the situation, and it might not. I don’t plan on giving it that much thought, although I can’t promise myself that’s going to happen as planned. For the time being I’m going to invest my energy in less thought-provoking things and mentally prepare myself for what’s coming. Giving more time to my blog is also on the list because it does calm my nerves.

Until next time, focus on maintaining a healthy mind, set your priorities straight, give yourself a break, and keep blogging.