Hot and Lonely—Kill Me Now

I woke up at 9:30 this morning to sweaty pillows and bed sheets. Today was the first time in two weeks that I woke up before 10:30. I haven’t been sleeping properly, which makes me feel like crap because I’ve always held on to an organised sleeping schedule. Today should’ve made me feel a bit better about myself, but it only made me feel worse. I wasn’t exactly pleased to wake up drenched in sweat, feeling like I’d just been run over by a tank.

I’ve also been having bad dreams, which adds up to my crappy mental state. The heat makes it impossible to go out for a run at any time of the day, I have no friends in the area where I live, my best friend’s on vacation in California, and I’ve never felt so alone.

At nearly 1:25 I was done with my chores for the day. I jumped into the shower, washed all my stress away, got dressed, and put on some new stress. You can never be anywhere near happy in this weather—I mean, I can’t.

The only thing that keeps me from breaking down to tears is reading. As soon as I feel like I can no longer take it I pick up my book and dive into that fictional realm for hours. I don’t know how long I’ll continue to escape my problems like that. I don’t think I care at all. It just makes me feel better.

I hate summer. There’s exactly one month left until school; I hate school and everyone in it. Not looking forward to seeing anyone again. No one at all. It’s going to be my last year in that hell-hole, and I’m praying to God that it goes by with the minimum amount of drama and bullshit.

Until next time, enjoy your summer, find yourself something to kill the loneliness, and keep blogging.

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