Do I Wanna Know?

You’d probably guess I’d be talking about the famous Arctic Monkeys song that goes by that title, but I’m not. I really like having punny titles for my posts; I try to do it as often as possible when the content is relevant. Plus, I really like Arctic Monkeys. Their music gives me a very chill vibe that gets me rather high. That’s the only way I want to get high, on music, because that’s the one thing I’m insanely passionate about. I mean, music is one of the things I’m insanely passionate about. What can I say? I’m a passionate little bundle of fuzziness, and I like it. I love it.

Wow. That was waaay beyond the point of this post, but who cares. It’s not like I’m being graded here, so I might as well just write my heart out. No one’s holding up a red marker waiting to mark my paper OFF TOPIC, right?

I’m tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally tired. There are so many things on my mind it gives me a headache, and I already have sinus issues which give me pretty bad headaches as well. Yay!

I need somewhere to vent, and this is it. This blog was made for that reason, to serve as a an exterior platform on which I get to liberally lay down my thoughts, and I’ve written those words in my bio, in case you haven’t looked.

Great. Now I don’t know what to write about. I can’t seem to focus my thoughts. I can’t seem to control my feelings. I’ve never felt more ambivalent, ever. I’m sitting here, slamming my keyboard whatever word combinations come to my mind, headphones plugged in, Led Zeppelin blasting into my ears, resonating in my skull, flowing down through my veins to the tips of my limbs, making me go numb. I’m not sure whether I like it or not. This feeling, I mean, not Led Zeppelin, I love Led Zep. I’m not sure this is the way I want to feel right now, but then again, you can’t choose to feel a certain way. Well, you can, but you’d have to fake it. I don’t mean to sound like a dramatic tumblr girl here, it just felt true. I do have a tumblr blog, but I’m not a very significant member of the tumblr society. Actually I’m not a significant member of any society, but I don’t really care. Seriously, I don’t. I’m not a person who likes attention. In fact, I try to avoid it as much as possible, because it makes me inexplicably anxious.

This is getting rather long, and I don’t want to bore those of you who take the time to read my crappy blog entries, so I’ll wrap it up here.

I realise I haven’t answered the question. Well, the answer’s no. I don’t wanna know. I don’t wanna know what’s next for me. I’ll just wait. Live it one day at a time. Whatever it is, it’s either gonna make me feel better or worse. I don’t want to feel worse right now; this is quite enough. I do, however, want to feel better, but I’d rather wait for whatever it is that’s going to make me happy to present itself. I basically have no other choice.

Until next time, make sure you enjoy all you have, make good use of your time, take care of your mental health, practice multitasking (trust me, it’s a life-saving skill), and yeah, keep blogging.


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