Under Pressure

I’m one of those people who worry too much, often for no valid reason. I usually know there is no reason for me to be worried, but I do because I don’t know how not to worry, really. I’m not normal if I’m not worried about something. Anyway, so I’m a sophomore, and I should undergo the process of SATs and whatnot, and for that reason my school organised with some professionals in the field of international test-taking to allow us to take a free diagnostic sample of the SAT in the same format and atmosphere that will take over on the actual test day, and of course, you could probably guess I was pretty worried about it. Yeah, I was bloody worried.

Although it was only a diagnostic, meaning it was prepared for the sole purpose of allowing us to experience what it’s like to take the test and be able to evaluate our performance and point out our weak points, I, for some reason, took it seriously and worked really hard on it.

I’m an ambitious person; if I have something in mind, it better happen, and I do work to make it happen. Beneath the lazy-ass complainee is a-believe it or not- dedicated hard worker who strives for, shall we say, more than satisfactory results and near happiness. Yes, near happiness because I personally do not believe there is a person who is truly happy in every aspect of life.

Strolling through the English sections effortlessly, I began to feel confident and could feel the concern lift off. Well… not for long because we both know there’s a Maths section in there too, and we also know I will totally fuck it up, which I did, by the way.

The Maths part is notoriously easy, but what can I  say, I’m a total nutjob when it comes to Math. Well, just for the record, I’m not a TOTAL birdbrain, but I lack mathematical logic, and quite simply, I hate Maths with every ounce of my being.

Aaaaand we get back to the part where I begin to worry again, heat up, and lose focus. We were 3 hours in when my eyelids got heavy, and my vision began to blur. I was near to putting my pencil down and calling it a day when the proctor announced there was only one 10-minute section left, so I pulled my shit together, filled in my answers, and left with my friends.

We hung out at my best friend’s place, had fantastic food, danced, chatted, possibly gossiped a bit, when it was time for us to leave. We said our good-byes, hugged, and went our own ways.

I’ll see them again on Monday, but the drama at the end was fun, so yeah.

So always remind yourself that you chose to do it for a reason, never give up because you just might be closer to the finish than you think. Have some fun, chill, go crazy, and keep in mind that everyone has a battle to fight and yours is just as important.

Two-Week Overview

I’ve had quite a couple of weeks now; I learned a lot, worked a lot, studied a lot, and had lots of fun. How, you ask? Here’s how it went.

So the week before I worked my ass off; I had a test or two every day, barely slept, and was stressed as hell all week. Luckily, I aced my math test (got a 98%), did great on my chemistry and history, and, well, I’m still waiting for my physics scores to come out, but let’s hope I did well.

I registered for the SAT on May 2nd (the lady over there was scary and kept scolding the others for filling in their registration forms incorrectly), got new clothes (sales period is awesome!), and attended a mandatory public speaking workshop for my upcoming speech next month.

Yes, yes, I’m in a public speaking competition. Being the little bundle of awkwardness and anxiety that I am, I never imagined I’d get myself to compete in public speaking; to me, that was the most terrifying thing. Well, besides math, of course. But one of my teachers once told me something about challenging myself and putting myself in new situations. It’s what he called ‘self-discovery’. He did almost everything you could think of. Trust me, I’ve asked… And it seemed like he knew much more about himself through trying new things. He told me to try, test my abilities in that field, and then decide whether or not that was the thing for me. This competition was quite unexpected, frankly, but I took my teacher’s advice and went for it. I thought about it before I signed up and realized I had nothing to lose, yet so much to gain. First, I’d get over my fear and anxiety of speaking in public because even ordering pizza over the phone stresses me out. Second, there was a mandatory workshop involved, and I thought I’d learn a lot about how to write and give out a speech, considering I’d have to speak a lot in the near future. (Graduation, job interviews, meetings, etc…) Third and most importantly, I’d get a 50% scholarship into the university that want if I win; see, the competition is organized by a university, which happens to be the university that I have in mind for when I graduate. Sick, right?!

I’ve been working on that speech of mine for a week, and it’s going great so far. Other than that, I went out with my friends quite a lot considering I’m such an introvert I go out about twice a month (besides going to school), so yeah, it was fun. I met new people, got lots of new clothes, and tried new food. I just might be a little happier than usual, but I know it won’t last, so I’m making the most of it.

So take those chances and challenge yourself, study hard, work like you mean it, and in the middle of all that don’t forget to have yourself a kick ass time.