Clear blue skies and beautiful sunshine, quite an unexpected morning considering we were warned of the raging storm Windy, which was supposed to last until Monday morning. This morning, however, Windy seems to have left us already. The huge storm is oddly over and the weather is beautiful.
I’m not exactly sure how I feel about this; I’m not the biggest fan of snow storms and below-zero temperatures, but I’m kind of unhappy it ended.
Weird, I know…
Maybe now I can study without getting up every half an hour to make myself a boiling cup of tea or fetch an extra blanket or two. Maybe I can go out for a stroll in the morning sunlight or make plans for the afternoon with my friends. Oh wait, I can’t do that. I’m supposed to study. Ugh.
I can still gulp down tea all day because it makes me feel warm and cozy on the inside. I can still get those blankets to cover up with, but I guess one would be enough. I can still study like I always do, so why does it feel so different this time?
I’ve always envied others who have free time while I have to do something so excruciating, like study, when it’s so perfectly sunny and warm outside. It just so happens that every year during Finals week I lock myself indoors for God knows how long a day so that I can get some shit done while the kids are outside, tossing the ball around and running so freely, smiles so wide and laughs so loud they resonate in my skull all day. Maybe that’s why I find more comfort in this weather, especially when I’m bound to do something I don’t quite enjoy. It makes me feel better that I’m not the only one who can’t get out and have fun. I’m quite sure this is one of my most dreaded traits, but I can’t help but feel that way although it haunts me later on. I’m trying to get it out of myself; it’s relatively less evident than it used to be when I was younger. I mean, I used to cry like I’d just lost a child or something, but now I just stand at my window and stare. Sometimes I catch myself smiling. I feel happy that those kids are happily enjoying their care-free days, but then I remember I’m not a kid like them anymore, or maybe I am, so that’s why I’m acting so foolishly about it. I don’t really know.
So for now, head out and enjoy your Saturday with friends and family or by yourself. Bask in the sun and take in the fresh air while you can, and I’ll find myself a way to suck it up and stop being such a child.